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ft. Borat & Pumpkin Coffee Cake Muffins

Sacha Baron Cohen: Borat

Happy Friday! There’s a lot to celebrate this weekend: the Dodgers are in the World Series, it’s nearly Halloween, and we survived the final 2020 presidential debate. (Sponsored by this debate’s MVP, The Mute Button.) Speaking of Halloween, it may look a little bit different this year, but it’s not canceled! Start planning those costumes now to get ~spooky~ for the company call next Friday. If you need some inspo, I’ve listed some last-minute DIY guides below. I’m warning you all now — if I don’t see at least one Joe Exotic in those Zoom squares, I’m going to be VERY disappointed.

We’re T-minus 11 days until election day, people. Please, vote and vote early, and however you’re planning on spending your weekend, enjoy these quarantivities!

Quarant-streams 

‘Borat Subsequent Moviefilm’

Watch this if your idea of humor in 2006 was using the “Borat voice”:

Sacha Baron Cohen: Borat
Photo: Amazon Studios

For those of us who suffer from secondhand embarrassment (I literally cannot watch The Office without physically cringing), The Borat franchise can be more of an anxiety-inducing nightmare than a casual watch. In the original, which was released back in 2006, (aka when the worst thing that happened was Pluto being demoted from planet to a dwarf planet — how good we had it then) Sacha Baron Cohen poses as the fictional Borat Sagdiyev, a reporter from Kazahkstan who travels to America to interview unsuspecting people about “what makes America a great nation,” all the while managing to offend nearly everyone he encounters in the process.

Now, Cohen’s controversial character has made his triumphant return for the Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, (extra points for anyone who actually read that without skipping to the end) and although his antics make Michael Scott’s pale in comparison, the movie’s extensive list of cameos is reason enough to force me to watch. Namely, former Mayor Rudy Guiliani’s. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, check out this list of the most notable cameos in the film, or just watch it for yourself this weekend. In the words of Borat himself, “It’s a very niiiiiiice!”

Stream it via Amazon.

‘The Queen’s Gambit’

Watch this if you’re a (chess) player:

Photo: Charlie Gray/Netflix

There are some shows that I naturally gravitate towards. For example, anything with Sandra Oh or Adam Scott in it. Netflix’s latest miniseries, The Queen’s Gambit, is not one of those shows. On paper, it’s a drama about chess, a game which I have never cared about, except for while watching Harry Potter when Ron had to beat the enchanted chessboard to get to the sorcerer’s stone. Now that’s interesting.

However, after getting through a couple of episodes, I have to admit that I agree with Vulture‘s review of the show — somehow, they’ve managed to make chess sexy. Orphan-turned-world-renowned-chess-star Beth may not be played by Sandra Oh or Adam Scott, but Anya Taylor-Joy is captivating. Throw in some ~sultry~ 1960s drama vibes, addiction, and Beth’s mystical nightly visions of chessboards, and I’m sold! Besides, let’s be real, we all need something to watch while we wait for the new season of The Mandalorian to drop next week, so why not binge-watch this in the meantime?? Checkmate, Netflix, you’ve successfully commandeered my weekend plans yet again!

Stream it via Netflix.

Quarant-reads 

‘When No One Is Watching’ by Alyssa Cole

Read this if your address is written in the gentrification font — you know the one:

It’s basically Halloween week, so naturally, I have to suggest a thriller novel. In Alyssa Cole’s When No One Is Watching, gentrification meets Get Out when Sydney Green begins noticing that her neighborhood seems to be changing before her very eyes. We’re not just talking redone apartments and for sale signs, though. People are disappearing, and she may be going crazy, but something tells her that they’re not just moving to the suburbs. Joined by her new neighbor and assistant Theo, they dive deep into the community’s history, desperate to discover its sinister secrets… before it’s their turn to be “relocated.” Spooky!

Purchase now via Amazon

Quarant-eats

Award Winning Turkey Chili via House of Yum

Make this bc fall = chili szn (Pro tip: Pair with this 5 Ingredient Beer Bread for your chili dipping pleasure):

Photo: House of Yum

Pumpkin Coffee Cake Muffins w/ Cinnamon Honey Butter via Halfbaked Harvest

Bake these bc these aren’t just any muffins, they’re cool muffins:

Photo: Halfbaked Harvest

Black Magic Margaritas via Betches/Delish

Make these bc no witch’s brew is complete without tequila:

Photo: Emily Hlavac Green/Delish

 Ingredients

  • 2 tbsp. black sanding sugar
  • 2 c. ice
  • 4 oz. silver tequila
  • 2 oz. triple sec
  • 1/2 c. lime juice
  • Red food coloring
  • Blue food coloring
  • Green food coloring
  • Lime slices, for garnish

How To Make It

  1. Rim two glasses with a lime slice and dip in black sanding sugar.
  2. Divide tequila, triple sec, and lime juice between two glasses and stir to combine. 
  3. Add food coloring until the drink is a dark as your soul. 
  4. Add ice, garnish with lime, and enjoy! 

*Keep in mind your teeth / tongue may be temporarily stained, so maybe don’t have one of these before the company Zoom call.

Quarant-memes

 & Some Other Fun Stuff … 

Read this to gain some celestial insight as to whether you should rewatch Hocus Pocus for the 4th time this month:

What Spooky Movie You Should Binge Based On Your Zodiac Sign

And this if you want a TV rec that matches your #mood:

Best TV Shows To Watch Based On Your Mood

Visit these to check out some of LA’s most iconic haunts:

21 Spookiest Horror Film & TV Locations Around Los Angeles

Get these to make cleaning the house a whole lot easier:

13 Lazy Cleaning Products For When You Just Can’t

Try these if you’re in need of some last-minute Halloween costume DIY inspo:

Last-Minute DIY Halloween Costumes For Adults

Last-Minute Halloween Costume Ideas You Can Easily DIY

Go to these to get your pumpkin patch on:

Guide To LA’s Local Pumpkin Patches & Hayrides

And these to root for your Dodgers!:

(UPDATED) Where To Watch Sports Outside In LA

Get tix for this to enjoy Haunted Little Tokyo from the comfort of your own couch:

Haunted Little Tokyo

Read this if you already finished The Haunting of Bly Manor:

All Of The Hidden Ghosts In the Background Of ‘The Haunting of Bly Manor’

And this if you want to know if anyone actually likes candy corn (Srsly, Alabama???):

The Most Popular Halloween Candies In Every State

Try these to give your brain a break from Netflix:

12 Brain Teasers That Will Test How Much You Actually Know

Go to this if you’re too lazy to carve your own pumpkin but still want to get into the spooky spirit:

Nights Of The Jack Drive-Thru