ft. ‘Army of the Dead’ & Spicy Salmon Burgers

May 21, 2021 by Sydney Grant

Happy Friday to everyone except Joshua Bassett! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, do yourself a favor and listen to Olivia Rodrigo’s debut album Sour this weekend. It’s not the teen angst we asked for, but it’s the teen angst we needed!

In other news, A$AP Rocky confirmed that he and Rihanna have been dating and nearly all COVID restrictions are on track to be lifted as of June 15. If this is the “new new” normal, I am so here for it!

However you’re planning on spending your weekend, enjoy these quarantivities!

Quarant-streams

‘Army of the Dead’

Watch this if you made it through all three plus hours of Zack Snyder’s Justice League (I just have one question: are you okay?):

What would you do for $200 million? In Zack Snyder’s latest beast of a film (seriously, learn to do less Zack), a group of rag-tag mercenaries get together and attempt to pull off the heist of all heists. The stakes are high, but if they manage to pull it off, they’ll walk away with that $200 mill I mentioned earlier. All they have to do is survive a weekend in Las Vegas — which, if you ask me, is a big enough feat in and of itself — except instead of avoiding drunk casino-goers, pick-pockets, and Elvis impersonators, they have to survive zombies. And no, I’m not talking about clubbers dragging themselves through the hotel lobby at 6 AM post-Taco Bell Cantina. I mean like, actual zombies.

In this version of the tried and true zombie apocalypse movie, America handled their pesky undead problem by trapping them all in Las Vegas and quarantining the area. Obviously, to avoid getting, you know, eaten, this meant people had to get out quickly. In the case of hotel owner and heist orchestrator Bly Tanaka, that involved leaving behind a safe holding a casual $200 mill. To complicate things further (remember, this is a Zack Snyder film; simplicity is not his strong suit), the government plans to nuke the entire city in two days, so they only have 48 hours to complete the mission. You can catch this one on Netflix this weekend or see it in theaters because that’s a thing now! Thank you CDC! Is this movie worth paying to see, though? Wellllll…I repeat, Zack Snyder. Two-hour and 28-minute runtime. You get the gist.

Stream it via Netflix or see it in theaters.

‘The Circle Season 2’

Watch this if a show about people being confined to their apartments somehow doesn’t trigger you:

Another reality TV rec for you! I try to avoid these as much as possible, but when a show as irresistibly addictive as The Circle comes along, it actually feels like a disservice to you all not to suggest it. But make no mistake here — this is not your typical reality TV show! Rather than pluck their cast members straight off Instagram and whisk them away to some tropical island, The Circle takes place entirely online or in the apartments of the contestants. My favorite character from the new season also happens to be a 58-year-old erotic fiction writer named Lee, so there’s that. They have no communication with each other outside of the Circle social media feed and can choose to either play as themselves or create a catfish persona to win the votes of their fellow contestants and, eventually, $100K.

It was one thing to be interested in this premise when the first season aired last New Year’s, but when the second season arrived just this month over a year into a pandemic that confined me to my apartment, forcing me to talk to myself as though I was on my own reality show, I had no business wanting to watch as badly as I did. But here I am, craving even more of a show that not only literally locks people inside their apartments but gives them PUZZLES TO PLAY TO PASS THE TIME. Why am I choosing to watch this? Is this what my therapist meant when she mentioned “self-destructive tendencies?” Or are the producers behind The Circle just that good at what they do? You’ll have to watch it to find out!

Stream Seasons 1 & 2 via Netflix.

Quarant-reads

‘Crying in H Mart’ by Michelle Zauner

Read this if you love Japanese Breakfast:

Indie music lovers do I have a treat for you! Japanese Breakfast’s own Michelle Zauner expands on the grief-laden lyrics of her Psychopomp album in her personal essay-turned-memoir Crying in H Mart. She reflects on visiting the Korean grocery store to feel close to her mother and then later, using cooking as a means to reconnect with her once she was gone. A book as beautiful as her music, I swear this girl can do no wrong! Read Zauner’s love letter to her mother, culture, and food — then listen to Japanese Breakfast on repeat. Who says the perfect weekend doesn’t exist?!

Purchase via Amazon.

Quarant-eats

Spicy Salmon Burgers via Pinch of Yum:

Make this bc it’s grilling SZN:

Simplest Strawberry Tart via NYT Cooking:

Bake this for a simple tart that won’t destroy your kitchen (and your confidence):

Photo: Melina Hammer for The New York Times

INGREDIENTS

FOR THE RYE CRUST:

⅔ cup/85 grams all-purpose flour
⅔ cup/85 grams rye flour
½ teaspoon salt
1 ½ teaspoons apple cider vinegar
9 tablespoons/127 grams very cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 large egg, lightly beaten, for egg wash

FOR THE TART:

1 cup/225 grams mascarpone, at room temperature
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 pound/450 grams small, sweet strawberries
3 tablespoons high-quality strawberry jam

PREPARATION

Prepare the crust: Whisk the flours and salt together in a large bowl. Combine apple cider vinegar with 5 tablespoons ice water.
Working quickly, add butter to the flour mixture and toss to coat. Use your fingers or the palms of your hands to press each cube of butter into the flour, ensuring that each butter piece gets coated, until the mixture resembles coarse meal with some pea-size lumps. If at any time the butter seems warm or soft, briefly refrigerate the bowl. Alternatively, you can pulse the butter and flour together in a food processor.
Sprinkle 3 tablespoons of the cold vinegar-water mixture over the flour mixture. Use a gentle hand or wooden spoon to stir the water into the flour until just combined. If using a food processor, pulse a few more times, or until the dough begins to come together. If the dough seems dry, add more of the cold vinegar-water mixture, a couple of teaspoons at a time. You have added enough water when you can pick up a handful of the dough and easily squeeze it together without it falling apart.
Form the dough into a disk and wrap in plastic wrap. Chill for at least 2 hours, but preferably overnight. (Dough keeps for up to 3 months in the freezer wrapped in a double layer of plastic wrap and a layer of foil. Thaw in refrigerator before using.)
Position a rack in the center of the oven and heat to 400 degrees.
On a lightly floured piece of parchment paper, roll out the pie crust into an oval about 15 x 6 inches and just under 1/4-inch thick. Use a paring knife or pastry cutter to trim any rough edges and move the parchment paper and crust to a baking sheet, preferably rimless. Dock the crust with a fork to prevent it from puffing up too much in the oven. Brush the surface of the crust from edge to edge with the egg wash.
Bake until crust is deep golden brown, 15 to 20 minutes. Check on the crust halfway through baking; if any bubbles have appeared, use a spatula to press them flat. Cool the crust completely on the pan.
Prepare the tart: While the crust is cooling, combine mascarpone and 2 tablespoons sugar. Hull the strawberries and cut them into 1/4-inch slices.
Carefully slide the cooled crust off the baking sheet onto a serving platter or board. Spread mascarpone over the top in an even layer, dot with jam, then arrange sliced strawberries in a single, slightly overlapping layer in a decorative pattern. Sprinkle the tart with the remaining tablespoon of sugar. (Omit this final sprinkling if your strawberries are particularly sweet.) Slice and serve immediately.

Ice Queens‘ Summer Snowball via Thrillist:

Make this if you want to know what a “summer snowball” is (you do):